Take my advice

Today I'm celebrating the first publication of Dear Abby!

On this date in 1956, Pauline Esther Friendman Phillips started writing the Dear Abby advice column under the pen name of Abigail Van Buren. Since her retirement in 2002 after an onset of Alzheimer's disease, her daughter, Jeanne Phillips, has been writing the column under the same pen name. According to its publishers, the column is read by more people than any other newspaper column worldwide. It's printed in about 1,400 newspapers worldwide with a daily readership of more than 110 million people. Dear Abby receives more than 10,000 letters and e-mails per week. More than 80% come from readers between 18 and 49 years of age, with the majority of the remaining from people under 18. For years, Abby has given wise and witty answers to letters received, offering commentary on marriage, divorce, sex, the teenage years, and aging, just to name a few hot topics.


Today there are hundreds of people offering advice through their advice columns in magazines, newspapers, and online blogs or on their televised shows. On television each week, you can get advice on homemaking, cooking, personal relationships, what to wear, organizing clutter, managing your finances, buying and selling real estate, just to name a few. There is at least one social networking site, Fun Advice, that is a question and answer site where site visitors can ask questions and give advice, while making new friends, on many categories, such as beauty, style, computers, technology, education, food, games, health, home, jobs, money, kids, love, eelationships, music, nutrition, parenting, pets, politics, religion, shopping, and travel.


There are also lots of articles and books giving advice about giving advice. Giving advice can often put your relationship at risk, especially when you are challenging another's views about their decisions on love or work. Often people seldom want the actual truth even though they ask you to be honest. Do you really want to know how fat you look in those jeans when you ask? How satisfied are you to actually hear that answer? Some people really have already made up their minds and they're just looking for confirmation from someone else. I've noticed that many who ask for advice will listen but then continue to worry about the issue. I've noticed that advice is sometimes just pretty wrapping around criticism, especially when it was not requested. A great article was written by Sharon Johnson and published in The New York Times over 20 years ago but can be read online. It suggests that you take the time and effort to help someone make the decision rather than giving a quick answer when asked for advice. It notes the importance of considering why you've been the one asked for advice and gathering information about all the options being considered. It also provides some good advice about how to deliver news to someone you think is making a mistake -- by sandwiching the truth in with two positives. One approach when responding to requests for advice is also to direct people to experts. The article emphasizes the need to consider the potential effect of giving advice on the relationship, but stresses the importance of communicating the support that you will give, regardless of the decision made. Sounds like some good advice to me!

I found a humorous song called "Dear Abby" sung by John Prine that I think you'll enjoy, but cannot embed it on the page. Just the link is provided for you today.

Today, my advice for you is to be cautious where you get your advice and think carefully before giving it too! Take my advice on this one -- it comes with experience.

Image credit: Although I doubt it owns the original, I got the image from Amway Parody Press through Google Images search